a fair day

It was a nice day today and J says we gotta make efforts to do stuff we like or we're gonna go crazy. So she found a crafts fair to go to. About a 15 min drive, all paved paths so we used the stroller. L loves the car and loves bumpy paths so she slept most of the time. Got lots of compliments on how adorable she is and lots of "Oh my gosh she's so small!"

L is almost a month old already. Incredible. And she's going through a personality change these past few days. She's much harder to soothe but she's also more interested in dangly things (like the mobile or the stuff hanging from the play mat). She makes more eye contact too and I think can focus on further distances. So I think maybe her crankiness is boredom, that she wants more stimulation and play time. This is great because it's more I can do and interact with her.

I'm also feeding her once a day. J pumps a few ounces into a bottle and I take over one of the night feedings so she can sleep more. That's been wonderful, lots of eye contact. Real bonding time.

new bonds

I fed the baby last night (not formula, pumped breast milk). In hindsight I guess it went fine but at the time it was a disaster. I didn't know what to do and much to my surprise neither did J. Not that she should have, I guess. I just thought (wrongly) that as she was learning about breastfeeding she'd also be learning about bottle-feeding. So we're both flailing about and the baby is feeding and drooling and then had one of her big spit ups (which always unnerves me) and by the end of it I'm a wreck and feeling like a failure of a parent.

But tonight it's back up on the horse. This time I looked up bottle-feeding in some of our books and... they had nearly nothing to say. So I concluded that it wasn't as tricky or difficult as I thought it must be so I should just go for it and be confident and trust in my instincts. And I did and it went about as fine as last night (and with less split up but still enough that I changed both her outfit and mine afterwards). Still room for improvement but at least this time I felt great as we sat there - me trying to burp her or just keep her comfortable till she got her food down - it felt good and there grew a whole new level of connection and bonding. I'm very grateful J has let me share in this part of parenting (till now she's been the sole provider of food).

There's still some room for improvement but tommorow is another chance and I'm eagerly looking forward to it. :)

Baby Tetris

Will holding the baby upright get her to stop crying? How about on her side? In a football hold? Cradle hold? Over the sholder? Keep rotating the baby till you find the magic position.

Couldn't get through to Dancing With the Stars to vote. :(

I'd like to see Dancing With the Fellowship - the nine main actors from The Fellowship of the Ring competing on Dancing With the Stars. I think Sean Aston would surprise us all. You heard it here first.

lovely math

A rocking chair + a good book + my baby daughter sleeping bundled on my chest = a great way to spend an evening.